Hmmmm

This past week and a half has been pretty trying for me at work. To explain without going into too much detail, I got a couple negative evaluations when I went for a promotion at work and had to spend some time going through the ways I need to improve with my nurse manager. Don't get me wrong, I am acutely aware that I am clearly human and deeply flawed, and I am not going to get defensive and say I am not in need of improvement. I know I am! Somehow though, I still felt horribly picked on and somewhat attacked. I tried very hard to find the positives and to use the experience to help me grow as a person and as a nurse. By this past Friday however I was worn down and trying so hard to be "perfect" at work that I was going home with massive headaches every day. I was questioning why God had created me the way He did with my desire to deal with issues right away and to confront problems openly, because frankly, other women don't appreciate that quality.

And then yesterday, something happened. You may think this is crazy, but I was seriously starting to wonder about my personality and its usefulness in today's society. Jason and I were cleaning the deck and when I looked down, there was this really cool looking black and white bug. I mean, I really thought it looked cool. (See picture above). All of the sudden it hit me. There are probably not a lot of people who would find beauty in a black and white bug, but I did. I felt like God put that bug there just for me. Like it was a reminder. . . that I am unique, I may not be like others (none of us are) but He created me uniquely and individually and even when others don't understand me or misinterpret my intentions, He has created me for a purpose and my design is uniquely suited for certain tasks to bring Him glory.

Thank you Lord for speaking to me through Your creation!