The annual family photo- 2008

The beautiful Fitt Christmas tree

Christmas 2008

Michael and Dawn and the Wii

Dawn after playing the Wii
Look at my air. . .

My first toe socks

Thanks Andi

Our Christmas tree

Control Issues

So, this is probably not the best time for me to write this post. I have always found in the past it is best to let things "set" awhile before verbalizing my true emotions. That gives the Holy Spirit some time to work in my heart and get my motives right before I start babbling about how upset I am. There is no doubt in my mind (or in any of yours if you know me) that I struggle when things are out of my control. Now, I also am aware that this is an area that God has been refining in my life, and over years has worked on my heart in realizing that I have no control. He is in control. I know that, and I am not sure why He insists on continuing to teach me this lesson. Is it possible that I haven't learned it yet??? : )
So this evening I received another lesson from God in the fact that I have no control, that it is only important that my motives are right and that I am willing and actively serving Him, and that the rest is His responsibility. Something I had worked very hard and long on which I had really hoped would be a God-honoring ministry pretty much fell apart. I know God can work through these things, and I know it is His ministry, not mine, but I feel so disappointed.
I am processing so many emotions right now, and mostly just trying to figure out what God wants to teach me through this and how I can react without sin in my heart. It is astounding to me how God can take every situation and turn it into a "character-building experience."

Beautiful snow

Cookie Bake

Dawn and Sarah at the annual cookie bake

Redneck deer hunting

So here is the story. . . Crazy Dave shows up at our house with two deer in his trunk. Apparently, he was driving down 83 and two deer came running across the bridge in front of him and jumped off the bridge onto 83. They both broke their necks and crazy Dave pulled over and put them both in his trunk. I don't know any better way to put this then redneck deer hunting. Here is the infamous trunk. . . P.S. These pictures are not for deer lovers. . . . : )

Crazy Dave and the suicidal deer

Classes

YAY!!!!! I finished my first semester of graduate classes at LBC!!!!! I start back January 16th.

Raccoons

Nikki enjoying the sun

Totman/Martin/Goodling Family

Ereina and Trey dancing

What I learned from growing up in Africa

There were many life lessons to be had from growing up in Africa, and this post may have several parts, so here is Part I

1. There is more than one kind of zebra- there are two main varieties- Burchells- wide stripes, and Grevy's- narrow stripes. No idea if I spelled those right. And for those of you wondering- zebras are white with black stripes! : )

2. There is also more than one kind of giraffe. There are at least three that I know of- Masai, Boxed, and Reticulated.

3. Malaria is not fun. Seriously, NOT FUN!

4. Eating termites will not kill you. They are full of protein and really do not taste bad.

5. Always tell your teacher right away when there is a black mamba in your classroom. . . you do not, I repeat, DO NOT raise your hand and wait to be called on. This particular point I cannot stress enough!

6. Monkeys will grab food right out of your hand after jumping from a distance that is not imaginable to the human brain. While eating food anywhere within a mile radius of monkeys- stay in your car.

7. Never drive into the middle of a herd of elephants- they are bigger than you and they will charge your car. : )

8. Bartering for everything you buy can be a lot of fun once you get used to it.

9. Walls, security guards, and a guard dog will still not stop someone desperate to break into your house.

10. Kenyan chai is the best in the world! : )

Sunday raking

Sarah enjoying the leaves

Above: After raking

Below: Before

Sunrise

Isn't this beautiful??

Tagged continued

Okay, here are the two more weird things about me:

6. I enjoy eating peanut butter on my hot dogs. (Don't knock it until you try it!)

7. My list of hobbies don't really go together: demolition derbies, sky-diving, crocheting, scrapbooking, four wheeling, and reading. : )

tagged

I was tagged in Emily's post to come up with seven weird things about me, so here goes:

1. I actually think that I would be able to survive on nothing but hot chocolate and smores. And at some point I think I just might try it! : )

2. I eat the cake out from underneath the icing to save the icing for last. ( I know, I know, a lot of people do that, but you must still admit that it is weird!)

3. I refuse to eat anything that you have to break the legs off before you consume- sorry shrimp, you are out!

4. I like everything in my house to match completely. I bought a fish tank today with a black lid, I also bought black gravel for it, and the fish are black and white striped. I know it is excessive, but I like my pets to also match my house. (Our cat is gray and black striped.)

5. I am obsessed with trying to make my house smell good. I have candles, flameless candles, airwick fresheners, glade plug ins, and frebreze scent stories all over my house.

Okay, I know I am weirder than this. . . I can't think of any more. I will have to finish this later after I think some more.

Beautiful sky

The beautiful sky when I left work the other day. . .

You might be a redneck. . .

Today when I walked out of my house, this is what I saw. . .

You might be a redneck. . .

Work halloween party

Cheryl really getting into halloween

Dawn and Chris

Susan and Mary

The candy dish

LBC- school

Well, I have decided to continue school at this point. I registered for two classes in Spring of 2009- Research Statistics and Ethics in Counseling. I will need to be prayed through the statistics class! I am about to check the syllabi for these two classes, and I am putting it off because I think it will be overwhelming. . . Here goes nothing. . .

Indiana Jones and crew

The road rally crew 2008

Jason's deer

The doe Jason shot with his muzzleloader (sp?)

God's will

The topic of God's will or God's plan has always been a mental battleground for me. I struggle with whether there is a specific course in which we must follow in order to be in God's will, or whether God's will is simply that we have an attitude of submission to Him. If it is the latter, can we make wrong choices while still wishing to do what God would have us to? Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Does this mean that if we are not supposed to follow a particular direction, God will not allow it to happen? I know this comes down to the disagreement of God's sovereignty versus man's free will, and if I have to pick a side, I will always err to the side of God's sovereignty. However, this leaves me in a quagmire when it comes to major decisions in my life. Do I move forward assuming if it is not God's plan for me, He will stop it? Do I wait for specific confirmation? What if I have several choices, how do I choose the correct path? I am willing to do whatever God chooses for me. As far as I am concerned, the scariest place to be is outside of God's desired plan, but honestly, I don't have any idea what His plan for me is. These are the things I wrestle with. Will I ever know this side of heaven?

school projects

Well, I think I have finally finished my research paper for my intro to counseling course. My paper was on the treatment methods used for major depressive disorder. Now I start my project for human development which is going to be on adoption and identity formation, highlighting especially if there is a difference in identity formation between transracial and inracial adoptees.

Tiny flowers

Before and After

Emily R. and Dawn

How to know?

I am in quite the quandary. When I started school, I really felt like God was leading me in that direction. I felt passionate about helping others through grief with training in counseling. In the classes I have taken so far, I have learned a lot, but I am overwhelmed and stressed about projects/papers/tests on a daily basis. I feel like school is keeping me from doing so many other things that I really enjoy. I also feel like it impacts my ability to be a loving, caring wife because I constantly feel under pressure.
I realize that I struggle with getting my worth from my accomplishments and without pursuing something specific, I feel like I am not improving or doing anything for God. I know, however, that logic is faulty. I know my worth is in God and God alone. Moving that information from my head to my heart is another story.
How do I know if I am supposed to stay with this or not? Am I supposed to push through something I really dislike because I am supposed to learn perseverance, or am I supposed to learn how to get my worth from God while not having anything tangible to base my worth on (such as pursuing another career).
I truly love the job I am in now, and am finding joy in so many things in my life. Unfortunately, school is not one of them. How do I know?? HELP!

Mike and Monica

Such a beautiful wedding

Mike and Monica's Wedding

Michael and the flower girls
Jason and Dawn
Bill and Cindy
Bill, Michael, and Jason

Mike and Monica's Wedding

The garden where they had their ceremony
The mansion